The concept of Dating Yourself may initially draw wary reactions, perhaps an uncertain smile or raised eyebrow. But given a second thought, you’ll realise that the idea is not peculiar or without merit…
We humans have grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with our deepest thoughts and feelings, which is what this workshop addresses in a unique but effective manner.
Exploring the concept of dating: why would you normally go on a date?
❤️To pursue an initial attraction to someone which could develop into a strong and satisfying mutual connection.
❤️To get to know someone by spending time with them. Many are instantly attracted to someone they’ve just met, or chemistry develops between two people who previously had not viewed each other as potential partners. This interest is often mutual.
❤️To get to know someone in a different setting – such as colleagues or acquaintances who have met through work, interested in embarking on a more personal relationship.
❤️To be able to assess whether the initial attraction felt, or interest stirred is mutual, sustainable, beneficial, positive, and has the long-term potential to grow into love.
Dating is an open gateway between two people
Normally, dating is a process embarked on by people who see the possibility of sharing themselves with another. It starts with the willingness to open yourself up to another. Being able to show vulnerability; to trust another enough to protect, respect, and honor your needs as an individual. Simultaneously, it is about offering the same to them and being able to accept them fully into your life.
The initial sense of attraction is intuitive and deserves to be explored
That initial feeling that someone is a great candidate to weather life’s journey with is largely intuitive. Exploring this reaction allows us to test our ability to connect with others. If the first date goes well, more dates may follow, and a long-term relationship could develop. In this way, both people sense that the other would make an ideal partner, someone to have by their side when life throws its challenges at them – and someone to share their successes and joys with.
When either partner is unwilling or unable to share themselves fully
When trust is not given or reciprocated, when you are unable or unwilling to fully allow the other person to step into this journey and walk beside you, the relationship cannot develop beyond a certain point. Should one find that the other is not a suitable match, they would probably go their separate ways knowing that the points of dissension are non-negotiable. Without those key requirements being met, the partnership will break down at some point.
Knowing yourself is vital to being able to open up to others
If you need to assess relationships in this way, you should be capable of self-introspection, too. Logically then, you should know your likes, dislikes, and your expectations of someone you would consider dating. You would ideally be able to self-analyze and assess someone else’s suitability by your values and standards. You should know yourself well enough to apply this thought process – and to be able to express it to others clearly and confidently. You should also be able to freely communicate your needs, without fear of judgment or ridicule.
The ability to self-assess is crucial
Exploration of your own needs and emotions: discovering, recognizing, and identifying your own feelings is a key factor in this process. Recognizing that your needs are important enough to make or break any relationship, takes consistent work and self-confidence. Introspection is not easy: uncovering daunting questions and at times, difficult answers. It comes with much soul-searching, which ultimately leads to personal growth and self-knowledge. Ultimately, you must be able to acknowledge and accept your feelings.
Not being aware of your feelings means your relationships cannot be completely fulfilling
Is it then realistic to say that not knowing yourself and not being able to self-assess, means that the experience will not be as successful as you would want it to be? Knowing how crucial these factors are and how great a role they play in your life, would you say that taking time to date yourself is a necessity?
The influence of society on dating and self-awareness
Society, generally, is open to the concept of dating and the process it entails. Dating is widely discussed, amongst friends, family, colleagues and of course, partners- and in almost every social circle. Unfortunately, the same cannot always be said for the process of self-awareness, introspection, and acceptance of oneself. Knowing the joys and despair that come with relationships, takes life experience. Also, keep in mind that our role models, friends, and family also influence our journey. Often, we are not taught how to navigate the road to self-discovery and self-love. Nor are we permitted to acknowledge the importance of our feelings and emotions. This leads to a lack of self-awareness and confusion, where we doubt our responses and reactions to people and situations. We struggle to identify our core needs as non-negotiable – and to express them as such.
Why dating sometimes becomes a tough road to navigate
This uncertainty often causes discord between us and others. When we are uncertain of our feelings, we tend to give off “mixed signals” or fail to adequately identify and explain our most important needs. This does not only affect romantic relationships but extends to all interpersonal relations.
Dating Yourself – the Workshop
A space created within which you can explore your feelings and needs comfortably. Encouraging you to take a quiet moment to focus on the importance of your thoughts and needs. This is the motivation behind Dating Yourself, the workshop offered by Rita Schoeman at Coaching with Heart. Using analogies to unlock your thought process around your fears, and the triggers that bring them to the fore under certain conditions, Rita allows you to gently examine your innermost feelings and thoughts.
This impactful 90-minute session takes you on a journey of self-reflection. And like sharing with a friend, it doesn’t feel invasive or probing. This approach opens you up to the process, rather than making you shut down because of it. Your reaction to certain situations or circumstances is lightly delved into, bringing to the surface emotions and questions that require your focus. Further discussion around what your reactions could indicate, allows additional insight for you to explore at leisure.
The workshop session is not uncomfortable or jarring. It simply awakens a thought pattern that continues to enlighten and challenge you long after the session has ended. Dating Yourself opens the door to a special connection with yourself – a process we often don’t prioritize. Most of us are not trained to create these required outcomes for ourselves, so embarking on this journey calls for guidance from a professional.
Dating Yourself is a necessary and valuable investment
This workshop is highly recommended as an essential experience owing to ourselves, allowing us to live a more authentic and empowered life.
✅Are you ready to accelerate your personal development?
✅Dedicated to increasing your self-awareness?
✅Need to be empowered?
Contact Rita via WhatsApp +27 833 818 624 for more information regarding the Dating Yourself workshop, today. Even better book your seat now for the next scheduled workshop Dating Yourself.
